Ah the struggle with patience

Don't forget yourself

In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful

I caught myself being impatient with myself today.

I am looking up the same words, making the same mistakes, and not making some connections sooner.

It isn't just the learning something new, it is remembering all the rules and then their exceptions. It isnt just remembering the words but all the other meanings the words could have.

For someone who has been called a “brainee” for most of my life, being in this stage of “learning” for the past few years has been different for me.

And as I caught myself, I reminded myself to choose gratitude.

Gratitude cos I have come a long way.

Gratitude for the paths that I have crossed and the ways I have changed.

Gratitude for what education now means to me

Gratitude for the people I have met on this journey

Gratitude for a Lord that is Ash-Shakoor

Gratitude for the growth mindset

And gratitude for the gift of knowledge.

And hope that Allah accepts even a moment of it.

{ یَـٰۤأَیُّهَا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوۤا۟ إِذَا قِیلَ لَكُمۡ تَفَسَّحُوا۟ فِی ٱلۡمَجَـٰلِسِ فَٱفۡسَحُوا۟ یَفۡسَحِ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمۡۖ وَإِذَا قِیلَ ٱنشُزُوا۟ فَٱنشُزُوا۟ یَرۡفَعِ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ مِنكُمۡ وَٱلَّذِینَ أُوتُوا۟ ٱلۡعِلۡمَ دَرَجَـٰتࣲۚ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ خَبِیرࣱ }

[Surah Al-Mujādilah: 11]

You who believe, if you are told to make room for one another in your assemblies, then do so, and God will make room for you, and if you are told to rise up, do so: God will raise up, by many degrees, those of you who believe and those who have been given knowledge: He is fully aware of what you do.

And maybe I need to learn to make room for myself when I sit with others who are doing much better than me. Like Ustadha F said “there is always someone better than you.”