I tasted a sweetness today...

O seeker of knowledge!

In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful

SubḥānAllāh!

Lately, I have been reflecting a lot, trying to arrange my thoughts, but they feel like scattered leaves, sometimes settling, sometimes swept away before I can catch them. The truth is, I want to gather them all, to sit and bottle up every feeling, every lesson, every quiet realization.

I want to document it all.

But some days, I am too mindblown, too humbled, too caught up in the living of it to find the time to write it down.

And yet, I need to.

Because I love words. I am not a picture person. My moments live best in words, wrapped in the rhythm of sentences, in the weight of meaning.

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I tasted a sweetness today.

Surah al-Ghāshiyah was my favorite surah as a child. I didn’t understand then what it truly spoke about even though i memorized its meaning as well—the weight of its warnings, the stark imagery of the Hereafter wasnt sonetime i noticed. I just loved it.The way it flowed, the way it felt on my tongue. Plus, I had memorized it with little care for tajweed, in fact, no respect for tajweed, and recently, I had to re-do its hifdh. It is still a work in progress to be honest.

I remember sitting there, trying not to cry, once when I asked my teacher if I could just recite it the way I knew it—without the rules, without the corrections, without the undoing of what was once so familiar. Because that I could do. That felt easier.

But ilm doesn’t let you remain where you are. It refines, polishes, stretches you beyond your comfort.

Alhamdulillah!

Today, I was reviewing it with a new teacher, and she took me ayah by ayah, explaining its meaning verse by verse, including pointing out the miracle of the camel’s creation, so many layers of understanding that I had never grasped before.

And then we moved to Surah Al-Fajr.

Just before it ended, I felt it.

A certain sweetness…

A quiet, deep recognition in my heart that this—this learning, this effort, this journey—was an answered du’a.

I sat there, humbled. Grateful. Inspired.

Ustādhati reminded me that the greatest ni‘mah of Allah ﷻ is ilm. And then she mentioned the hadith:

"Whoever Allah ﷻ wants good for, He grants them understanding of the deen."

And in that moment, I felt it…

I want to hold on to this feeling.

To bottle up this sweetness, to sip from it on days when I feel distant, when my steps feel heavy.

To remember that this path, no matter how difficult, is a gift.

And yet, I know…

There will be days when the sweetness feels distant, when the weight of review and repetition feels heavier than the joy of discovery, or is it rediscovery? When I will sit before my mushaf, and the words will not flow as they did today. When my tongue will hesitate, my heart will feel tired, and I will wonder—where did the beauty go?

Hopefully, I will remember that ilm is not always a flood of inspiration.

Sometimes, it is quiet, steady work. It is showing up even when the sweetness is hidden beneath layers of struggle. It is trusting that, even in those moments of loneliness and difficulty, there is still barakah, still a nearness, still a mercy, unfolding.

Because the One who granted this sweetness today is the same One who will sustain it tomorrow.

I juat need to keep showing up, keep seeking, keep reciting, keep humbling myself before this ocean of knowledge.

The path of ilm is not always paved with ease, but it is always, always paved with khair. May Allah make this a hujja for us and not against us. Amin.

Today, I tasted it…

O Allah, do not deprive me of the sweetness of knowledge, and do not deprive me of gratitude for this blessing. Amin.

May He ﷻ continue to open doors of ilm for us, and may we walk through them with gratitude. Amin.